Overloaded Guest Lists: Painful or Positive?
One of the most common arguments I (Christine) hear between brides, grooms, parents, and friends is “Why do I have to invite them?” It seems as if weddings can become the event that draws together the long lost second cousin’s auntie’s brother and everyone in between for a family reunion of sorts, or the time for a parent to impress a boss or coworker with the amount of money spent on the dress and catering or anything else. It can quite easily become an event completely about the guests, with the bride or groom entirely overlooked. This shouldn’t be the case!
In order to avoid this, I thought I’d cover a few tips that can help you (or some poor stressed-out future newlywed) combat the overloaded guest lists and find that blessed peace and tranquility our team at Jade & Joy Events longs for you to have.
We’ve all been known to create a lovely environment at work, with friends chatting about love lives and woes, complaining about workplace issues, and everything in between. However, let’s think about those guest list numbers again, shall we? If you haven’t attended your coworker’s wedding, laughed at the Bar Mitzvah with the rabbi, or even seen the inside of their home, ditch them. I know, this sounds so harsh. BUT, let’s be realistic. Will you be looking for their faces in the midst of the smiling (or crying) faces during your ceremony? If the answer is no, we both know Barbara and Jim should stay just office mates and only that.
I remember a conversation with girlfriends one weekend about wedding revenge; whether or not to invite that girl from college who was the bane of your existence, or proving play “Aunt” Sally right that you could marry someone after 30. Whatever the case may be, my best advice is that this is NOT that moment for you. This is one of the most beautiful, sincere, and genuine times of your life, and you don’t want to have to think about the extra $100+ per head for the haters in your audience. Why not just have a little revenge therapy through Instagram? Trust me, it’s SO much cheaper.
This is one of the hardest, yet most important, conversations that I’ve had with brides and grooms. Weddings, like many other events, can end up turning into a family reunion of sorts. Cousins you haven’t seen in ages are able to fly or drive over for the event. Aunts and uncles pack the car with their kids so they don’t miss the goings on of the family (and so they can report back to the other relatives who can’t make it). The question I always hear is, “When is enough just enough? Do I have to invite every relation under this earth for my event, or risk insulting everyone?”
Since this is a tough one, I have to be honest and say that it depends. If you are a family-oriented person, this could be one of those make it or break it moments for you looking back years down the line. However, that leads right into my solution that can hopefully be helpful for you. When thinking about your wedding, who do you see in the audience? I know that budgetary requirements can cloud that, but genuinely picture the guests you want to see in those chairs. Who do you want dancing with you in the reception with that DJ you love? What jokes will you miss from that one family member? Whose presence makes you feel that much more special? Those names that popped into your head right now are your core. Everyone else is secondary to that.
For all other friends, colleagues, and random people that might get thrown into the bunch, I have a truly helpful tip that I found through my beloved best friend Pinterest.
Use this genius guide to help you whittle down those last minute guests. I’ve found this method helpful more times than I can count.
You’ve now successfully managed to cut most (if not all) of those extra guests you just couldn’t account for. Now go forth and be that wedding planning genius that I know you are!
As always, our team at Jade & Joy Events will be more than glad to help you with any other details for your wedding planning. To reach out to a member of our team, just click here.